


Nefarious Jazz - Decepticon Demise

by BlushLouise



Series: Small packages [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Crack, How to end the war in three steps, Plotting, Spec Ops - Freeform, bumblebee is learning, chaotic neutral, evil evil mastermind, sneaky Jazz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 02:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13871460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlushLouise/pseuds/BlushLouise
Summary: When the party game is 'Creative ways to end the Decepticons', you really should think twice before asking the Spec Ops bots. Because Jazz plots. Yes, he does. And Bumblebee's learning.But it's all just a joke, right?Right?Right...Be afraid. Be very afraid.





	Nefarious Jazz - Decepticon Demise

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr. My husband gave me the prompt for this - couldn't Starscream just subspace them?  
> Well, I couldn't let that lie, could I?

“So that’s one vote for combusting the Nemesis and everyone on it, two for taking down the command staff by way of insurgence, one for taking them all out through some form of viral plague, three for taking them all out through some form of viral heat plague, and one for just talking to them until they give up.” Sideswipe looked up, “That just leaves you, Jazz.”

The saboteur stretched, grinned at the others. “Ah vote for death by subspace.”

The amount of stares he got for that was well worth it.

“Death… by subspace,” Cliffjumper repeated. “Not that I object, but what?”

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” Sunstreaker grumbled.

“And a viral heat plague does?” Bumblebee asked, smirking.

“It’s more enjoyable, anyway,” Hound chuckled.

“Hear me out, mechs,” Jazz said, enjoying the dumbfounded look on most of their faces. “Three outa four in th’ Decepticon command staff have small, stationary alt modes.”

“Ye-es,” Sideswipe replied, drawing the vowel out until it multiplied. “Megs is a gunformer, Soundwave’s a boombox…”

“Shockwave’s a gunformer,” Groove finished. “So what?”

“So we hack Starscream,” Jazz said, leaving it at that. The looks he got for it were well worth it, and he waited to see if any of them would figure it out. His bet was on Bumblebee - the scout was clever, much more than anyone suspected, and the yellow minibot liked it that way.

True to form, Bee grinned. “Death by subspace. Cool.”

Surprisingly - or perhaps not, the mech had a good processor on him even if it lacked the mind-to-vocalizer filter - Bluestreak was the next one to chuckle. “Oh, I get it! Wow, Jazz, that’s really evil and brilliant, and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though I really am, and how would that work exactly? No one would get close enough to Starscream to do that, would they? He’s really suspicious of everything, and -”

“Would someone take pity on those of us who haven’t had a smattering of Spec Ops training?” Brawn interrupted. “What the frag are you talking about?”

“We hack Starscream,” Jazz repeats, and he puts on the evillest grin in his repertoire. “He subspaces the other three. And then we crash ‘im into the sun.”

Dead silence greeted his words. Bee was still smirking, Blue was obviously running his own internal monologue, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker just stared at him and Groove shook his head.

“How do we know that won’t kill the sun?”

“I doubt even the Decepticons are that combustible,” Hound said. “I gotta say it, Jazz, I’m impressed. And a little scared of you right now.”

“Ah, no need t’ worry, mah mech,” Jazz grinned. “Ah’m on your side. B'sides, it’s mostly a pipe dream. Hackin’ Screamer’s the tricky bit.”

“Not getting the others to transform?” Sideswipe asked.

“No, that’s easy,” Bumblebee said. “We just adjust that weapon Megatron used on us that one time, to lock them in their alt modes. Then Starscream should have no problems. We’d need to get Shockwave to Earth first, but a bungled comm that looks like it came from Decepticon command should manage that no problem.” He frowned, looking at Jazz. “We’d need Blaster on board.”

“We would,” Jazz agreed.

“Of course, you’d need to sneak into the Nemesis to get at Starscream,” Bumblebee continued. “And it would all have to be subterfuge enough that the other 'Cons didn’t notice. We should probably disable Astrotrain and Blast Off, just to be safe.”

Now it was Bumblebee getting all the stares from the others around the table. Jazz just grinned - he knew the kid had a good head, but this was better than he had expected.

“Um… We’re not seriously planning this, are we?” Bluestreak asked. “I mean, I’d like the war to be over, but this seems a bit, I don’t know, evil? Not that I’m saying you’re evil, it’s just -”’

“When did this stop being fun and start being a strategic Spec Ops meeting?” Sunstreaker finished, arching an optic ridge at the mechs in question.

Bumblebee blinked. “Oh! No, of course not. Sorry, I got carried away, I guess.”

Sideswipe nodded slowly. “Sure. Okay. Well, unless anyone wants to change their vote, viral heat plague still has it.” He grinned. “I call dibs on Skywarp.”

As the discussion degenerated in all meanings of the word, Jazz shot Bumblebee a private comm.

*Work it out, send me your plan. We’ll develope it as a potential strategy.*

*Yes, sir.* Bumblebee grinned.


End file.
